You Lost Me at …Hi
During my time in the world of online dating, I have met some interesting characters (to say the very least) and with this experience I have learned that one should never assume that they have seen everything. Proof of this for me came in the body of an email from a certain type of man not too long ago. Now bear with me, because this story requires a bit of set up: For those of you who have never used an online dating site, it’s important to know that when one receives an email, wink, and/or ‘interest’ from an online suitor of sorts, an alert is sent to your personal email, privately. This alert typically includes a picture of said admirer, a short snippet of their bio and their online dating moniker. Human beings being visual creatures, typically the immediate response is either, “HEL-LO good-looking!”, proceeded by you reading his profile with bated breath, in hopes that he has graduated highschool (and it shows: hello complete sentences) and knows that Africa is a continent and NOT a country, OR you might also experience a roll your eyes moment, when you sigh dejectedly that yet another completely inappropriate man has attempted to try his luck, once again, in scoring a much younger and/or ill-suited woman to contact. Well, this time, I was contacted by a much different creature… Firstly, I had to look several times to make sure I was seeing, well, what I thought I was seeing…. an elderly woman had sent me an email? Upon making sure I hadn’t inadvertently signed up for the wrong site, mistakenly stated a fondness for elderly women, or missed some bizarre dating site upgrade (down grade?), I got past the picture and in morbid fascination proceeded to read her email….
Hi. So you say you’re open minded. Ok just how open minded are you? Yes I’m a crossdresser and I love to go out shopping, movies or just out fully dressed as a woman. Can you handle a man like that? I have a few other secrets that I won’t tell you until our first or second date lol. Two things though. 1) I’m two inches shorter then your “ideal man”! I’m only 5″ 10″ 2) I want kids and you don’t seem to want them. Or are you just not sure if you do. I want one or two kids…. Shall we talk more?
…Ok. Wrong, on so many levels. My god, where to start. The part I find most amusing? That the subject line is ‘Hi’. Really? You lead in with ‘Hi’ and then slide right into, ‘I’m a cross dresser’? Then not improving matters, he follows up with, ‘I have a few other secrets too?!!! Now to be fair, he gets props from me for being so open about his passion for women’s fashion AND for bravely posting the pictures to back it up, but his delivery leaves a bit to be… desired? I love how he then thought it would be in his best interest to get the deal breakers right out-of-the-way, before I even get to say ‘Hi’ (who am I kidding?). Kids… height… do you mind cross dressers? Yikes. I truly wish him the best of luck, he should maybe consider dialing back the in your face approach a bit, but I can maybe understand why. Unfortunately for him, I have decided against having children of my own, and I prefer a taller man, but most importantly… bitch, NO one touches my shoes.
- 35 and Trying
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